ENGLISH - Words to Live By (6)

Jealousy...all the fun you think they have.
Keep smiling. Everyone will wonder what you're up to.
Keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them.
Lawyers work in their briefs.
Leakproof seals ...do.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Liars get caught by the tale.
Life and liberty are safe only when congress is in recess.
Life is full of minor and major problems; some days you get both.
Light at the end of the tunnel? look out for that train.
Loafer - someone trying to make two weekends meet.
Lose weight - eat stuff you hate.
Lose weight - put a scale in front of the 'fridge.
Mad at your neighbor? buy his kid a drum!
Make someone happy today - mind your own business.
Man doesn't live by bread alone - many get by on crust.
Many of us have an excellent aim in life, but no ammunition.
Men have many faults, women only two, all they say & all they do.
Money is the root of all evil, but man needs roots.
Most pigs end up making hogs of themselves.
Musicians are just playn' folks.
Never hit a man with glasses...use your fist.
Never let your studies interfere with your education.
Never lie unless you have an awfully good memory.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Never put off to tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never slap a child in the face - there are plenty of places.
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
Never step in anything soft.
Never underestimate the lack of taste of the buying public.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Next to the dog, the wastebasket is man's best friend.