ENGLISH - Words to Live By (2)

An optimist is one who sees a light. A pessimist is one who blows it out.
An optimist laughs to forget..a pessimist forgets to laugh.
Any law enacted with more than fifty words contains at least one loophole.
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.
Anything that can go wrong will.
Astronauts are out to launch.
Atheist...a man with no invisible means of support.
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
Avoid criticism - say, do and be nothing.
Bad luck is being run over by the welcome wagon.
Be alert, America needs more lerts.
Be sure the brain is engaged before putting the mouth in gear.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.
Beer bellies = great waist.
Behind every successful man - a surprised mother-in-law.
Behind every successful woman - herself.
Betty Crocker uses a mix.
Beware of dark rooms ... the room might be the morgue.
Blame San Andreas - it's his fault.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
Build something foolproof and every fool will use it.
Bureaucrats are the meat loaf of humanity.
Can you remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty?
Careful planning will never replace dumb luck.
Careful!...you may be the only bible some people ever read.
Carpenters are just plane folks.
Chicken - the egg's way of making more eggs.
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
Clones are people two.
Cole's law - thinly sliced cabbage.
College is a fountain of knowledge where students come to drink.
Cut to fit; beat into place.
Cutting remarks don't cut any ice.