Bottle Tree Park

This park is situated near the Khatib MRT Station. Inside there are some organic vegetables farms, wet fish market, fishing pond, cafetaria and a Seafood Restaurant.
It was rather hot in the afternoon, but was quite packed wih people in the evening especially for the Seafood dinner at the restaurant.

There are some camping activities inside the compound during the school holidays, and occassionally organisations have a retreat there.

Lunch-time is Lunch-time

The office phone rings, one of the employees picks up and says:
"What kind of an idiot is it that dares to phone me in the middle of my lunch break?!?"

The caller shouts back:
"Do you have any idea whom you are talking to...? I am the CEO of this company!"

The employee replies:
"Do you have any idea whom YOU are talking to?"

Perplexed the CEO mumbles: "NO!!!"

The employee heaves a sigh of relieve and say: "Thank goodness for that!!" and hangs up.

Wrong E-mail Address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!

Ah Beng talks about Singapore history and current affairs...

Under the 'ang mo' we all live happily together, no complain.
Malaysia & Singapore is one big family in our brains.
One day we both like 2 durians cannot get along.
Got sharp thorns, poke each other, until 'buay song.'
One moment like brothers, can give and take.
Next moment we kena kicked out by the leg.
Wah! Our towkay also cry like mad,
we all also feel very very sad.
Our neigbours all say, 'Wah they all sure to die!
They got nothing, how to get next bowl of rice?'

So 'boh pian,' we all work day and night.
We also join the army so that we can fight.
We don't care others 'see us no up'.
But actually inside we very pain in the heart.
Then slowly hor we grow rich and a bit fat.
Now others talk about us also got some respect.
They scratch their heads and say
'Very funny! Got nothing how come they can still make money?'

Last time also got no money to buy ice-cream cone.
Nowadays even small kids can also afford hand phone.
Sea port, airport also can become Number One.
He! He! Sometimes think about it also very fun.
But some people look at us also not happy.
Actually they jealous don't want to say only.
So every time their country got something wrong.
They all say Singapore's behind it all along.
Everybody know we water no enough.
They turn off tap only we all cannot last.

They threaten us with water supply and shout 'Cut! Cut! Cut!'
Aiyoh! They all think the water is one big ketupat.
We all hear already also 'buay tahan'
Wah liao, they think we small can makan!
But now they 'cow pay cow bu' we all not very scared.
We want to build water desalination plant already so not so bad.
But their own economy now all go bust.
Got to sell water otherwise money no enough.
Then another neighbor say Singapore no friend friend,
Got so much money, a bit more also donno how to lend.

They say we all only one small red dot,
like the center of a big dartboard.
Maybe they think we mouse and they cat,
that's why they suka suka anyhow talk like that.
But we all still send them a lot of rice.
Show the world we actually very very nice.
Sometimes we 'cho ho sim' also kena whack.
But we all gentleman wan, don't want to fight back.
I think hor maybe they don't understand us very well.
That's why relationship sometimes like heaven sometimes like hell
Some say aiyah our prosperity is all due to luck,
that's why we all siao siao' can still win the Tiger Cup
I think hor, Singapore is like chilli padi in a pot -
Size small small but still very very hot.

Signs of the Times

On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that read
"No Stoping."

Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster's ldictionary, he noted that stoping means:

"extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground."

"Your Honor", said the man, "I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn't extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed."

Acknowledging that the defendant hadn't done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, "since this is Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I'll turn you loose."

"No Stoping" is a blunderful example of the suspect signs and botched billboards that dot the American landscape. Here are some other signs that need to be re-signed:


* At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation:
"Eat here and get gas."
* At a Sante Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
* In a New Hampshire jewelry store:
"Ears pierced while you wait."
* In an New York restaurant"
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the
manager."
* In a Michigan restaurant:
"The early bird gets the worm!"
"Special shoppers' luncheon before 11:00 AM."
* On a delicatessen wall:
"Our best is none too good."
* On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law."
"-- Sisters of Mercy"
* On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."
* In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
* On a movie theater:
"Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child."
* In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed!"
* In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."
* On a New York loft building:
"Wanted: Woman to sew buttons on the fourth floor."
* In a New Hampshire medical building:
"Martin Diabetes Professional Ass."
* In the office of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."
* In a New York medical building:
"Mental health prevention center."
* In a toy department:
"Five Santa Clauses -- no waiting."
* On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
* On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and
workmanship.
* At a number of military bases:
"Restraicted to unauthorized personnel."
* In a number of parking areas:
"Violators will be enforced and Trespassers will be violated."
* On a display of "I Love You Only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs."
* In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work."
* In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan.
* On a window of a New Hampshire hamburger restaurant:
"Yes, we are open. Sorry for the inconvenience."
* In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
* In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits - $10.00 - They won't last an hour!"
* On an Indiana shopping mall marquee:
"Archery tournament. Ears pierced."
* In the bathroom of a large apartment building:
"When taking showers, please leave the bathroom door a jar.
This will prevent the plaster from peeling."
* Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."
* On a North Carolina highway:
"EAT"
"300 FEET"
* On an Ohio highway:
"Drive slower When Wet."
* On a New Hampshire highway:
"You are speeding when flashing."
* On a Pennsylvania highway:
"Drive carefully: Auto accidents kill most people from 15 to 19."
* In downtown Boston:
"Calahan Tunnel/No. End."
* In the window of an Oregon general store:
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"
* In a Massachusettes parking area reserved for birdwatchers:
"Parking for birds only."
* In a New Jersey restaurant:
"Open 11:00 AM to 11:00 PM Midnight."
* In front of a New Hampshire restaurant:
"Now serving live lobsters."
* In front of a New Hampshire store:
"Endurable floors."
* On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place too take a leak."
* On a movie marquee:
Now Playing:
Adam and Eve
with a cast of thousands!
* In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual
light is extinguished."
* In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
graves."
* On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."
* On a New Hampshire road:
"Will build to suit
Emory A. Tuttle"
* On the grounds of a private school:
"No trespassing without permission."
* In a library:
"Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops
taking it away.
* On a Tennessee highway:
"Take Notice: When this sign is under water the road is impasable."
* Similarily in a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time you wash your car."

American vs Japanese

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!?"

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked "What kind of -kee" was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

Ah Beng Jokes 3

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erasesthe board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so.
He replied that the weather forecastannounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it wouldbe hot.

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning. Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

Ah Beng Jokes 2

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed !

Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "

Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes " Yes "

Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it!"
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask.
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold".
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems.
He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me ?!"

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back!!!!"

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU " AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

Affter completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED"

Mass Birthday - October 2008

This birthday party was celebrated in October 2008