1. ENGLISH – Singular & Plural
2. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (1)
3. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (2)
4. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (3)
5. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (4)
6. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (5)
7. ENGLISH - Words to Live By (6)
8. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (7)
9. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (8)
10. ENGLISH – Words to Live By (9)
11. ENGLISH – So you think it is easy, read on
Unwritten laws can not be erased.
Use your head - it's the little things that count.
"V.D." is nothing to clap about.
We are the people our parents warned us against.
We should go metric every inch of the way.
What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all is said and done more will be said then done.
When in doubt, mumble.
When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.
When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.
When money talks there are few interruptions.
When talking nonsense try not to be serious.
When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
When you kill time you murder success.
Where in the world does the guy who has everything put it?
Where there's a will there's a relative.
Where there's a will, there's inheritance tax.
Why are creditor's memories better then debtors?
Why do expenses always rise to meet income?
Why do you always find something in the last place you look?
Why does bread always fall butter side down?
Why does the other lane always move faster?
You are what you eat, so Euelle Gibbons was a nut.
You can always find what you are not looking for.
You can't win them all, but you can sure lose them all.
You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.
You never "find" time, but you can always "make" it.
You never learn anything with your mouth open.
You win a few, you lose a lot.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
You're old when you forget how to start your rocking chair.
You've never been as sick as just before you stop breathing.
Save your money - someday it may be worth something
Say nothing & they think your stupid..talk & they know for sure.
Short cut... the longest distance between two points.
Smile... things can always get worse.
Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
Some people believe anything if you whisper it.
Some people can quit a job without leaving a vacancy.
Somebody who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
Stalin's grave was a communist plot.
Success is the art of making your mistakes when nobody's looking.
Talk is cheap unless you hire a lawyer.
Teachers have class.
Teamwork is vital... it gives you someone to blame.
Tell the truth and you won't have so much to remember.
That argument you won from your wife isn't over yet.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
The average woman talks 50% more than her husband listens.
The best investment opportunities are encountered when you are broke.
The best time to buy anything is last year.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it one time.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
The one sitting, contributing nothing, is a supervisor.
The only short meetings are when no one shows up.
The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers.
There is no such thing as being a "little pregnant".
There's no fool like an old fool, 'cause he's experienced.
There's no special reason; it's just government policy.
There's nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
Things work better if you plug them in.
Those who think they know it all upset those of us who do.
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
To err is human - to blame it on the other party is politics.
To err is human, to forgive is unusual.
To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.
To error is human, to blame it on someone else is more human.
To every exception there is a rule.
To get a loan you must prove you don't need it.
To learn the value of a dollar - try to borrow some.
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
Too busy to laugh? then you are too busy.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
No good deed goes unpunished.
No job is too small to botch.
No matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney.
No matter what happens, there is always someone who knew it would.
No matter which way you ride, it's up hill and against the wind.
No one can get ahead of you when they're kicking you in the rear.
Nobody ever puts out a sign that says "NICE DOG".
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing stimulates the appetite like an empty billfold.
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patients.
Old frogs never die...but they do croak.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Only a ball player's errors are published every day.
Only adults have trouble with child-proof bottles.
Parents never fully appreciate teachers until it rains all weekend.
Part-time musicians are semiconductors.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Pilots are just plane folks.
Politicians will always inflate when given the opportunity.
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Practice makes perfect, but no one's perfect, so why practice?
Pride is what we have...vanity is what others have.
Prunes give you a run for your money.
"Push" is the force exerted upon the door marked "PULL".
Rubber bands have snappy endings.
Jealousy...all the fun you think they have.
Keep smiling. Everyone will wonder what you're up to.
Keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them.
Lawyers work in their briefs.
Leakproof seals ...do.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Liars get caught by the tale.
Life and liberty are safe only when congress is in recess.
Life is full of minor and major problems; some days you get both.
Light at the end of the tunnel? look out for that train.
Loafer - someone trying to make two weekends meet.
Lose weight - eat stuff you hate.
Lose weight - put a scale in front of the 'fridge.
Mad at your neighbor? buy his kid a drum!
Make someone happy today - mind your own business.
Man doesn't live by bread alone - many get by on crust.
Many of us have an excellent aim in life, but no ammunition.
Men have many faults, women only two, all they say & all they do.
Money is the root of all evil, but man needs roots.
Most pigs end up making hogs of themselves.
Musicians are just playn' folks.
Never hit a man with glasses...use your fist.
Never let your studies interfere with your education.
Never lie unless you have an awfully good memory.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Never put off to tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never slap a child in the face - there are plenty of places.
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
Never step in anything soft.
Never underestimate the lack of taste of the buying public.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Next to the dog, the wastebasket is man's best friend.
He who hesitates is last.
He who laughs last is probably your boss.
He who laughs last; probably didn't get the joke.
His brain is like a politician's speech - mostly empty.
I wouldn't mind being poor if I had lots of money.
If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes sooner.
If a sight is worth seeing, someone will build a highway to it.
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
If at first you don't succeed, so much for skydiving.
If at first you don't succeed, clutch for whatever you can get.
If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.
If at first you don't succeed, you'll get lots of advice.
If at first you don't succeed, you'll get plenty of advice how to.
If at first you don't succeed, you're about average.
If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will.
If it is worth fighting for, it is worth fighting dirty for.
If it's in stock, we have it.
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
If you can be Beat by one, you will be.
If you don't know who's to blame, you are!
If you itch for it, scratch for it.
If you see an onion ring...answer it.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball.
If your parents didn't have children, odds are you won't either.
In God we trust; all others pay cash.
It order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Interchangeable parts ... don't.
It takes two to make a marriage - a girl and her mother.
It's easy to suggest the solution when you don't know the problem.
It's hard to be humble when you are so perfect.
It's hard to fly with eagles when you work with turkeys.
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
Early to bed - makes you healthy, wealthy and boring.
Early to bed and early to rise and you'll miss a lot of fun.
Eat yogurt and get culture.
Even if you understood women, you'd never believe it.
Ever just seem to not be able to get around to procrastinating?
Ever stop to think and then forget to start again?
Every time I lose weight, it finds me again.
Every time you learn all the answers, they change all the questions.
Everything coming your way? you're in the wrong lane!
Everything goes on sale ... right after you buy it.
Everything going good? you must have overlooked something.
Everything hurts .. and what doesn't don't work.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Expenditures rise to meet income.
Expert - anyone from out of town.
Expert - knows tomorrow why today's prediction failed.
Fact - red lights always last longer than green ones.
Feel good? don't worry, you'll get over it.
Fellow with closed mind often has open mouth.
Flattery is the sincerest form of lying
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.
Friction is a drag.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
Government always plays both ends against the taxpayer.
Gravity brings you down.
Great beer bellies are made, not born.
Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "NICE DOGGIE" until you can get a rock.
Discover all unpredictable errors before the occur.
Do it today, tomorrow it will be bad for your health or illegal.
Do unto others before they undo you.
Do you always hit the nail right on the thumb?.
Do your knees buckle, but not your belt?.
Does your back go out more than you do?.
Doing nothing makes you tired 'cause you can't take a break.
Don't ever eat yellow snow.
Don't ever stand up to be counted or someone will steal your seat.
Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
Don't get discouraged...no one is perfect.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Don't let school interfere with your education.
Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Drive carefully, death is so permanent.
An optimist is one who sees a light. A pessimist is one who blows it out.
An optimist laughs to forget..a pessimist forgets to laugh.
Any law enacted with more than fifty words contains at least one loophole.
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.
Anything that can go wrong will.
Astronauts are out to launch.
Atheist...a man with no invisible means of support.
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
Avoid criticism - say, do and be nothing.
Bad luck is being run over by the welcome wagon.
Be alert, America needs more lerts.
Be sure the brain is engaged before putting the mouth in gear.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.
Beer bellies = great waist.
Behind every successful man - a surprised mother-in-law.
Behind every successful woman - herself.
Betty Crocker uses a mix.
Beware of dark rooms ... the room might be the morgue.
Blame San Andreas - it's his fault.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
Build something foolproof and every fool will use it.
Bureaucrats are the meat loaf of humanity.
Can you remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty?
Careful planning will never replace dumb luck.
Careful!...you may be the only bible some people ever read.
Carpenters are just plane folks.
Chicken - the egg's way of making more eggs.
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
Clones are people two.
Cole's law - thinly sliced cabbage.
College is a fountain of knowledge where students come to drink.
Cut to fit; beat into place.
Cutting remarks don't cut any ice.
186,000 miles per second isn't just a good idea, it's the law!
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
A bird in hand is better then one overhead.
A career is a job that takes about 20 more hours a week.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A desk is a wastebasket with drawers.
A diamond is just a lump of coal that made good under pressure.
A father is a banker provided by nature.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
A hangover...the wrath of grapes.
A man's house is his hassle.
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.
A picture is worth a thousand words; a slide show is both.
A pleasure trip is defined as driving your mother-in-law back home.
A word of advice - don't give it.
After all is said and done, usually more is said then done.
Age isn't important unless you're a cheese.
All men are born free and equal but some get married.
All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
An authority knows lots of things you don't care about.
An expert has a great reason for guessing wrong.
We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
When couldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot - would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this and plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?
Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose;
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!
So our English, I think you will all agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.
I take it you already know.
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead; it's said like bed, not bead;
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(they rhyme with suite and straight and debt)
A moth is not a moth in mother.
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there.
And dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose --
Just look them up -- and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start.
A dreadful language? Why, man alive,
I'd learned to talk it when I was five,
And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned it at fifty-five!
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